Most
of us never imagined that our Mothers and Fathers, who brought us in to this
world, loved, provided, supported, and essentially helped shape who we became,
would ever need us as much or perhaps
more than we needed them.
In
thinking of our own childhoods, we needed our Parents for a myriad of reasons. To break it down, we needed them for simple
activities of daily living (ADL’s). Namely
eating, bathing, dressing, toileting, transferring(walking) and continence. But mostly, I propose, we needed (and still
need) their love.
Well,
time stands still for no man or woman and everyone, if they are so blessed,
grows old. If one is especially blessed,
they can live independently their entire life and essentially never need any
assistance, direction or hands on care of any kind. However, the one ingredient all people always
needs is love.
While
there are many definitions of love, I don’t think I would get much argument that
love is looking out for someone’s well- being, even when it is difficult to
accomplish, and even when they don’t necessarily understand or agree with it. Can anyone remember telling a teenage child
to do or not do something? They hated you at the time but you knew it was
right……….and years later, so did they!
While
there is no age that determines “old age”, we must always remember that
everyone (who is legally competent) has the right of Self-Determination, which
means that they are entitled to make decisions for themselves, even if they are
bad decisions.
So,
when is it time to become the “Parent to your Parent”?
While
I would never mention a specific age, I would suggest that when there is any
meaningful “change” in life, i.e., a sickness, death of a spouse, certainly a
bad diagnosis, or any inkling, often noticed by friends or relatives who have
not seen our Parents in a while, now would be a good time to assess the
situation. Sooner is always better than too late…. or never!
Remember….it is all about LOVE!
This
article was submitted by:
Jim Tretola
Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)
Certified Dementia Practitioner (CDP)
Senior Care Consultation of NJ, LLC
For
more information, you can contact Jim at 908-377-7702 or jtretola1@gmail.com